My TEDx Talk Experience
It all started one evening on November 2, 2017, while I was volunteering at the Gender Conference East in New Jersey. At our staff dinner that evening, I was sitting next to a gentleman named Jean. While we talked, he asked if I had ever given a TEDx talk before. He suggested I pursue one at TEDx Asbury Park, New Jersey, with the upcoming theme of “Passion,” and texted a contact there on the spot.
Later, I attended a session given by my surgeon, Dr. Rachel Bluebond-Langner, where I shared my surgical experience with the audience and expressed my gratitude toward my surgeon. Afterward, a man introduced himself as Eric Wiener and asked if I was Karen Holmes. He told me he’d been sitting behind me during the session and was struck by how much passion I showed while talking about my surgery and surgeon. He was with TEDx Asbury Park and gave me his business card, encouraging me to apply for their next show on May 19, 2018.
For a couple of weeks, I wondered if I could really do it, and I decided to send in my application on January 29, 2018. Three weeks later, I received an email inviting me to either attend a live audition or submit a video. I spent the following weeks working diligently on my speech and rehearsing daily — my talk would become “40 Years and Wandering No More.” I changed my speech so many times before that I felt like I’d knocked it out of the park when I finally got on stage. A month later, I received an email from TEDx Asbury Park that read, “Congratulations, we want you to be on the live show on May 19, 2018.”
A week later, I got my first coach, Don, who loved my speech when I rehearsed it for him over Skype. Two weeks before I was set to go live on stage, I rehearsed in front of eight coaches and got a new coach named Joel. That night, while rehearsing over Skype with Joel, he suggested I restructure my talk to speak about Tony (my birth name) first, and then work into my talk about Karen.
The next day, Joel and I met again over Skype to rehearse, and he told me he was blown away by how well I’d reshaped my talk using his suggestions in just one day. After a couple more rehearsals, Joel said he had me at 95% ready and wanted me to work with a woman named MK, who would get me to 110%. She had a few suggestions to make Tony’s story a little more personal. I took a few days off work and headed to Asbury Park for the dress rehearsal. I arrived at the Paramount Theatre only to find out my dress rehearsal wasn’t until 3 p.m. Before heading back out, I said a prayer, asking God for His help. At 3, I went on stage to do my dress-rehearsal talk, and once again, I felt like I’d knocked it out of the park. My first coach, Don, came backstage in tears, and I asked him not to cry, because I would start crying too. I just wanted to be able to repeat my talk with that same passion for the live show.
The next day finally arrived, and it was my turn to give my talk. I walked out onto the red dot on stage, not nervous at all — I was simply happy to be there and get it done. I spoke with such confidence and passion, drawing several claps and laughs during my talk. My talk took ten minutes, and as I walked off stage, there were tears and applause, with everyone standing. I let out a big sigh of relief and a long exhale as I headed backstage.